This essay started as an answer to a dear friend who asked Adichie how to raise her baby girl as a feminist. A challenging task. This manifesto starts with Adichie’s two “Feminist tools” as she calls them, the first one being “I matter equally” and the second one “Can you reverse X and get the same result ?”…the answer being often “no”. The 15 suggestions go from “Gender roles are nonsense” to “Talk to her about sex and start early”. All 15 are valuable and adapted to every baby girl and would say to every baby boy as well. A book to offer to every mother… and father.
“Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive. It is misogynistic to suggest that they are.
Sadly, women have learned to be ashamed and apologetic about pursuits that are seen as traditionally female,
such as fashion and make-up. But our society does not expect men to feel ashamed of pursuits considered
generally male – sports cars, certain professional sports. In the same way, men’s grooming is never suspect in
the way women’s grooming is – a well-dressed man does not worry that, because he is dressed well, certain
assumptions might be made about his intelligence, his ability, or his seriousness. A woman, on the other hand, is
always aware of how a bright lipstick or a carefully put-together outfit might very well make others assume her
to be frivolous.”